Posted by Gavinruss on Friday, 09 February 2007 14:27:18

I know exactly what you are going through as I ve just been through it myself , Everytime you ask a politician it falls on deaf ears including David I feel
I can help you as I self represented after studying family law and was against a barrister for my ex (legal aid) and won my case and now have my 5 yr old daughhter 2 days per week .
You can get fantastic free help from Families need fathers http://www.fnf.org.uk and even help in court by use of what is called a "mckenzie friend" .
Family courts are sexist and hopefully cases will go back to court with these new sex discrimination laws coming out

Shared residence is the norm upon parental separation in loads of european countries which is great and should be the same here
If you want some help I will gladly assist you

Posted by coolcatmillie on Friday, 09 February 2007 15:00:33

I can relate to what you a re saying completly having witnessed by husbands battle with this situation.
Even a request for simple weekend contact has been imposiible, without any cooperation from the courts and ex-parenter.at at the cost of lengthy procedure and expensive legal cost.
I agree totally there is no help, and in our case we were constantly told the child best interest in paramount but the child/children are never asked what they would like and as a consequence the child/children grow up believing that the non-residential parent did not want any access until they are of an age where they can understands...which can sometimes be too late.
My husband children school have also failed to cooperate,as there was no direct contact with the children he requested the school to inform him of thier progress,school reports special event,parent meeting etc,but they had no interest in helping,allthough they are legally required,this again took month of time trying to sort out and letter sent to education dept.
However the school did once get in touch ,when his ex took the children on holiday during term time without the schools prior knowledge and wanted an explanation for this from my husband.....
Family lawyers have told us constantly not to rock the boat, and there’s very little they can unless the parent with care cooperates.
It is crazy that today we have so much emphasis on equality and human rights, but this matter is still ignored by governments.
As a result of this some parents with the care have used this to their advantage and put huge obstacles in the fathers way, but then removes those obstacles when the issue of finance for the chid is raised.
The only solution to this, is that the government changes its policy and its discrimination towards a father, and the courts accept that not all children are better off with the mother, along with the governments help denying their children’s wishes to see their fathers.
I doubt very much you will have much response to this,as in the past it has fallen on deaf ears.

 

Comment edited by coolcatmillie on Friday, 09 February 2007 15:03:24

Posted by Gavinruss on Friday, 09 February 2007 20:09:44

Dear Coolcat millie, If your man was married to his lass or obtained PR by court order then he has Parental responsibilty for his child, and if the school is ignoring this then speak to the LEA and report the school as they have to recognize this and by not doing so they are not acting in the childs best interests as is part of their remit ,
Forget family lawyers and rocking the boat , take it back to court using a McKenzie friend from families need fathers which is a registered charity recognised for trying to keep parents and children in contact for around 30 years .
But all these politicians including dear David Cameron dont address this but stick their head in the sand upon issues to do with Family Courts and secrecy being used in them ,

In criminal law we have the presumption of innocent until proven guilty BUT in family law ? Its a joke , they use hearsay evidence , all proceedings "in camera " , and the only people able to legally SEXUALLY DISCRIMINATE IN JUDGEMENTS.
Everyone goes on about Domestic Violence etc but really when mother blocks contact etc for child to see its dad that is in itself Domestic Abuse by default especilly when dad has in place contact orders for parenting time of his children

I hope it never happens to David Cameron BUT I wonder what he would do if he came home one night to find his wife had left him and had taken his children and he went to court to see his kids through NO FAULT of his own ? To be branded a " non resident parent " and now reduced to applying to court to be made a contact parent??? And having to even move out of his own house just because his ex has residence of the children ?? ( lucky david has money for the house problem not to be an issue) I wonder if David would then just sit back and accept this undeserved new status served upon him just by his ex wife ?? I dont think he would

This isnt family law, this is legalised cruelty

Posted by coolcatmillie on Saturday, 10 February 2007 11:30:51

Gavinruss,
Thank for your advice, it’s very much appreciated,
It was the LEA that we had sent letters to, as well as the school.
However I think that the damage has now been done, as the children often pass our house and do not want any contact, even though we have tried and there are other siblings involved.
“I hope it never happens to David Cameron BUT I wonder what he would do if he came home one night to find his wife had left him and had taken his children and he went to court to see his kids through NO FAULT of his own?
Well if that did ever happen you know that that is when things change.
Gordon Brown has had a habit of looking at this differently with regards to families and children since he became a father. Before it was never a priority!
Thanks again for the advice and I will check what you have suggested and see if there is anything we can salvage from the whole mess.
Another question you might be able to help with is that an ex husband gives a hefty amount to his ex-wife for the children, and I have often asked if we they claim CHILD tax credit, although they are not living with us he is in fact contributing to their upbringing and they are still his dependants in this respect.
Although a stepparent can claim if he is living with the children?

Posted by Gavinruss on Saturday, 10 February 2007 16:32:55

Even though contact is a problem etc it doesnt stop the fact that the dad has Pasrental Responsibility for his children and the school MUST acknowledge this REGARDLESS of contact issues .
If the school have not helped you with school reports etc then I would suggest that he speaks to the headmaster/mistress and if nothing is resolved then tell the school you are putting it to the LEA .
Parental Responsibility is very important in a lot of ways including the mum trying to change childs name etc SO stick by your rights ,
I,m a little bit lost on the bottom of your posting ? dads should always financially support their kids BUT also should NEVER BE DENIED CONTACT EITHER and this why shared residence presumption is crucial to avoid one parent usually mum being able to play silly devils .
The rest of europe sees the benefits BUT our "old farts" brigade in houses of commons and house of lords are jusy playing silly devils with childrens lives and equality of upbringing by BOTH parents